In Honor Of Alexandra Morris

I've been trying to think of something worthwhile to say for the past few days, and I keep coming up short.

Alexandra Morris died this past Monday, March 26th, 2012, after a prolonged battle with cancer. I'm fairly uncertain about the details surrounding her latest bout, but I know she was battling long and hard for nearly 10 years. I'm afraid to ask her mother what happened as I'm sure she's tired of reliving the last days of her daughter's life to everyone who asks. [I have since learned it was Osteosarcoma].

It's such a fucking shame. She was 22 years old and had experienced more trauma, stress, heartache, or whatever you want to call it than anyone should have to go through in their entire lives. But through it all, she somehow miraculously found a way to keep a positive attitude. Seemingly at all times. I can't recall a single time when she wasn't positive, and I don't recall a single time where she complained, either.

She had the outlook and expressed the sentiment that even when you can't change a fucked up situation, you still have to keep a positive mind state, because really, what else is there to do? There's no point in being angry and stressing yourself out over shit you can not change. She fully understood that.

She often times made light of the situation. She had a blog titled 'Fuck You, Cancer' that detailed her second bout with the disease and the amputation of her left leg. On Halloween this past year, she dressed up as a pirate and traded in her prosthesis for a wooden leg (see above pic). The way she handled her situation, and the optimism she had in general, is what made her great. No matter what roadblock was erected--can it really get any worse than having cancer THREE FUCKING TIMES before you turn 23?--she was willing, ready, and expected to break it down.

Her positive attitude when faced with the greatest of challenges is the type of mental fortitude I can only hope to achieve one day. When asked, people always say that their parents are their idols, or that some sports player or entertainer is the only they idolize the most. And for a while, it was no different for me. But that was before...that was before this.

I'll never forget being at the funeral and not having the strength within myself to get anywhere near her casket. But I'll always remember her face. Both the vibrant one, always with a smile and full of life, and the frozen, immutable one, right down to the newly grown hair, a result of the chemo, I'm sure. She was a fighter, right to the fucking end.

And for that, Alexandra Morris, you will always be my idol. I bow my head, and I cheers.  #RIP

"So they can never say we never lived it/ and if I see Biggie tonight, I loved every minute" - Kanye West #LiveFastDieYoung